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Well,
I have my 3rd summer at Teen Mania in Texas. I leave to go back to Cali
in August. No more Texas. I found that I have more joy when I am not
stuck on a bus with a lot of people who look down on me.
I have
found the joy in dancing and being around people who like me for who I
am and not who they want me to be. Dancing just lets me be free of the
future, or the past, all that matters is that instant, that slight
movement that makes you and your partner communicate and you look good.
God is amazing. I really wish I could just be completely consumed with Him for like a week straight or even a minute straight.
I find it harder and harder to graspe onto those moments, for my heart longs for more of them but my flesh pulls me elsewhere.
How
amazing would it be to be completely consumed by God for 24 straight
hours, no fleshly desires in the way, no distractions, no technology,
no one saying how much life sticks, just you and God. Him holding you
close to His heart. So close that you can hear His words before He says
them. That you are so close that life itself doesn't matter. Just that
moment in God's lap, you find peace, love, and the wholeness that so
many people search for, and so few ever really find.
Alex | | |
| Please pray for my family.
My grandmother passed away at 2:08 a.m. this morning. Please pray for my family.
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| Well a lot has happened recently.
Friends getting married, friends going to be parents, and me catching the flu and working hard for Christ.
I love what I do, but I just have the hardest time making the effort to call friends on campus. I feel like my good friends from years past are not my friends anymore. I feel like I am alone on the team now. I know there are people that care, but I don't think that we mingle well.
I have friends on campus that I would love to talk to all the time, but fear of the reason I am calling so much being confused from friendship to something different. I think I lost a friendship because of not being clear about things and not keeping in communication, but then again I am not very good at keeping in communication unless there is something that comes to my attention to make a phone call.
Don't misunderstand. I am still finding joy in the Lord. I just wish I was not putting on a face for friends to make them think I was always happy. I think that when I am not acting happy people don't talk to me at all.
So am I to be real or not? Am I to be completely honest, or just hold my tongue? Am I suppose to break down and just make calls to friends no campus no matter the cost it may be?
I sit back wondering what God is bringing into my life, and what I am trying to bring into my life. I sit back and wonder what is going to happen with some of my friendships, and not even worrying about others.
Some of my closest friends right now are women of God (not a shocker there), but some of the ones I am with most of the time have a crutch that their parents will bring them home after one phone call. It becomes discouraging sometimes.
I think that most of this could simply be Satan trying to stop me from doing what I am suppose to do. Some of this could be my flesh trying to take over. And some of it is the desire from God that isn't being filled.
Well anyway, if being real makes it so that I am friendless... then so be it.
If it means not drowning myself in sugar highs ever again so that I force myself to deal with the stuff in my life, then so be it.
If anyone has any advice, I would be glad to receive it.
Alex
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| Wow I really have updated this in a while.
I really miss a lot of people. I really enjoy being on the road and being at all the ATF's so far. I enjoy making new friends but I really regret the loss of some friends.
I cant recall being so active on the weekends but it has proved to be a blessing. The Lord is constantly working on me and since I have been home for 30 days I have realized that my church needs a lot of help in the area of lighting and sound.
I have enjoyed break and trying to find out what I am going to do when I come back home in August.
I got to personally talk to the Pastor of my church which was really cool. He is definitely a man of God and I believe that there is going to be a lot work with him and the beginning of my ministry and the continuation of his.
I just want to thank everyone who has been a friend to me both old and new my last 2 and a half years at teen mania.
I can't wait to see a lot of you guys in Texas soon and some of you during the ATF tour this year.
Later friends.
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| I do love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind and
soul, I did cry when he saved me, and I don't care if I look like a
fool just because I'm crazy about Jesus. I will spend my days,
worshiping my face off, weeping for the nations, laughing until I hurt
with the joy of the Lord, and convincing every soul I come across who
looks like they just sucked a lemon that there's salvation out there,
even for us freaks, so get off your attitude and fall on your bleeding
knees!!!
P.S. Jesus is amazing!!! No matter how much you learn about Him, you can still be in awe of Him when He shows you just another glimpse of Him!!!!
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